Does your body prefer being rubbed softly or hard? What about patting yourself dry? Maybe the feelings are different on different parts of your body. When you have finished your bath or shower get dried using a warm towel. If your mind begins to wander, just gently bring it back to the present moment. Do different touches liven you up or relax you? For a little while longer, continue to just enjoy the sensations of the water.
#MINDFUL MASTURBATION SKIN#
Notice the different textures of your skin and the areas that feel most sensitive to your touch. How does moving the water around over your body feel? Now, using your hands or a sponge and soap if you wish, begin to clean your body all over. Notice whether you feel the temperature differently on different parts of your body. Now step in and relax.įocus on enjoying the warmth of the water on your skin. (If you don’t have a bath, a shower will do). When you’re ready, begin by running yourself a bath. This is your time – protect it.įirst make sure you have plenty of hot water and your bathroom is nice and warm. Before you begin, switch off the phone and if there are other household members around, tell them you are not to be disturbed. To get you started, you should try and do this exercise at least 3 times a week for a couple of weeks before moving on to exercise 2.
It may be frustrating at first and feel weird, but as you continue to practice your brain will gradually rewire to touch as the source of arousal, rather than porn. You will probably find your thoughts wandering, but when they do, bring your focus back to what you’re doing and feeling. In sex therapy, these exercises are used to treat erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation and premature ejaculation, but they are equally effective in treating PIED when combined with giving up porn.īefore you start, be aware that these exercises take time and practice. And most importantly, by focussing on the physical sensations, your mind can remain in the present moment, rather than filling your brain with visual images. The exercises below are based on self-focus exercises that are widely used by sex therapists to help people become more aware of their physical sensations and increase receptivity to touch. You would eat it ‘mindfully’ and that’s what you’re going to learn to do now with another favourite pastime!
#MINDFUL MASTURBATION TV#
Do you – A) put the TV on and shovel it into your mouth whilst watching a cookery show? B) eat it with no distractions but visualise eating something else? Or – C) rid yourself of all distractions and eat it whilst relishing every taste and texture? The answer is of course C. A delicious, mouth wateringly, satisfying meal. You’re sitting down to eat your favourite meal. What follows below is an outline of how it’s done, but first – imagine this. But for those who are single, or those who want to include masturbation in their sexual repertoire, either now or after a period of abstinence, learning mindful masturbation is essential for ensuring recovery. And some, especially those who are in a relationship, decide that that they can live without solo sex.
In the early stages of re-booting, many find it easier to stop masturbation all together. For guys brought up with high-speed porn, it’s a new skill you can learn. And hence, it’s an experience they can return to. Similarly they would see people they were attracted to and might have thought about them too, but their initiation into masturbation was through the pure pleasure of the sensations they could create for themselves through touch. They touched themselves in a certain way and it felt good and so they touched themselves some more and bingo! As the years passed, they were most likely introduced to pornography in some way and that might occasionally be a ‘special treat’.
Most guys who weren’t brought up with high speed porn first discovered the joys of masturbation purely through touch. But let’s look at the good old days before the internet. For those of you who’ve been watching porn since puberty, you may never have experienced orgasm without porn and like many clients I’ve worked with you may consider the whole idea of fantasy-free masturbation bizarre. But it’s not.Īs you’ll know from the other pages on this site, one of many problems with internet porn is that it wires your brain to a dependency on porn as a source of stimuli and can numb your pleasure response to other activities, including self-focussed masturbation.
#MINDFUL MASTURBATION FULL#
For some, the thought that you actually could enjoy masturbation again without a brain full of images or fantasising about someone you’re attracted to feels completely impossible. Many men in the early stages of recovery from porn addiction struggle to enjoy any kind of self-touching without falling into the trap of replaying old porn scenes in their head or fantasy.
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